Perfect long weekend: Friday

I'm on the subway to Main Street Station where I'll meet Tonia and we'll head over to her workmate's surprise 40th birthday party. I see a familiar face. It's Ab, one of Tonia's best friends. I lift my shades and wink at him. He looks confused then grins and sits next to me. He's getting off at Main too so he's happy to get a chance to wave to Tonia. He's really cute. I like him. He's good looking, maybe of Indian or Trinidadian descent and unmistakenly gay. Just look at his eyebrows. We climb the escalator and wait inside the windowed entrance, chatting a bit awkwardly. Only awkard since he's Tonia's best friend from highschool and I'm her hotgirl and we just want to be cool and nice and like each other. And we do. I think. We just don't know exactly what to say here because the only other time we met was last year at Pride and we were both really really high*. We decide let's each send Tonia a text message at the same time for a joke.

My text: i'm at main w a cute boy. better hurry. i love you.

Ab's text: hey your girlfriends picking on me.

Tonia arrives not having recieved the messages but does a kind of squeal when she sees me with Ab. She pays her fare and comes in for hugs and kisses. We all chat for a few minutes and then part ways.

Tonia and I arrive at the house, which turns out to be not more than a few blocks away. It's modest on the outside and downright plush inside. We enter realizing we really know no one except for the surprise dude and we're marched around by the hostess to put on name tags and get drinks. There is a massive spread on the diningroom table. The kind of expensive shit you can only get at the St. Lawrence Market. I see a slab of Balderson's® three-year-old cheddar the size of a patio stone. We are issued sort of ley things that we are to wear on our wrists. I snap mine by accident and it continues to unravel into a streamer. I'm kind of embarrassed but I laugh and remove it before someone trips over it. I'll get another before too long. Hostess—surprise guy's sister—is already firing questions a mile a minute and the host is already flirting with my lover. Something to do with writing on her hame tag which is already pasted on her pretty breast.

A few other guests arrive—cute gay men all of them—and we are all instructed to stay away from the front door for obvious reasons. The heat is dissipating and we are all hustled into the backyard, which is multi-decked, leafy, and just freakin stunning. There is a table for gifts, many lounge chairs and an ivy-covered hobbit-looking stone garage that looks nicer than my house. Tonia has trouble with the stairs. She's more afraid of stairs than scary rides.

Party-boy's surprise face is a perfect suprise-party face**,
complete with queeny hand to cheek and "oh my gawd!"
Hugs, kisses darling, snapshots, laughter.

The food is freakin stellar.

Party boy takes us on a tour of his sister's house. We marvel at the walk-in closet and I make a mental note of the back bedroom in my place. Serious walk-in potential. Tonia nearly has a heart attack at all the shoes this chick owns and has to remove her 'queen of shoes' crown. At my request the tour also includes a quick peak at dude's new Prince Albert piercing. I haven't seen a penis since my gay neighbour showed me his Prince Albert piercing. What's up with that?

The smokers assemble out front and giggle in hushed tones. As ever, the coolest people end up in the smoking section, like Tom and Eric who've been together for 14 years and warn us about the 7-year itch, and the superpretty man who actually teaches figure skating.

We smokers are hustled out back again for the cake and presents which include gift cards, knick knacks and an anal douche. Tonia and I discuss wether to use it before sex or after and can't really agree except that one should probably experiment at home alone first to get a handle on the device's effects.

Post-cake and presents, the party boy is demonstrating how gay he is by grabbing my breasts and then holding up his hands and shouting, "Look! Nothing!" Flirty host is over like a shot to see if he can get in on the action, which, forget it.

It takes Tonia and I a while to say goodbye to all the fun people we've met. I have a nice feeling inside because that was a really big deal and took a lot of work. We're given a lift home from a quiet dude and we talk about how good it is to be with cool people who do this stuff. He drops Tonia off first and then lets me out at the foot of my street.



* Get me to tell you about the time at Ab's Pride party where I hallucinated a baby toddler clinging to my skirt and looked down and there was a baby toddler clinging to my skirt and I nearly lost my shit.

** Say that five times really fast.